Really? You can’t?

Really?  You can’t?

Last weekend I was trying to arrange a ride to a weekend ministry conference.  My friend was very willing to pick me up, but could I walk out to the main road and meet her there?  I hesitated.  I hesitated for a very long time.  “That might be hard for me,” I said.  Not a problem.  She knows I have MS.  It is just that no one knows how much I am beginning to struggle with it.

As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I began to think, “Really, Annita?  It can’t be much further than a quarter of a mile.  You can’t?”  I started to think that I should be testing this theory out.  I would try on Saturday when I dropped our car at the shop.  I will walk to the church from there.

The total distance from the shop to the church is 1.3 miles (I looked it up).  I walked along the busy road wondering if anyone can see the slight hitch in my gait.  I got to Burger King and decided to stop for a few minutes and have a coffee.  This was less than half way, but I was already starting to feel it.

When I do exercise, if I take a break, I can get back at it again without too much trouble.  My leg recovers in about 10 minutes.  I was nervous about getting to the church on time, so I did not really take the full break. I headed out with coffee and book bag in my hands to finish my walk.

Walking with the coffee was silly.  I need my hands for balance, and the full attention of my brain to be on my steps.  I really should have tossed it.  But I had paid for it…what is a girl to do?

I worked at the second stretch of the walk.  At about 2/3 of the distance, I trip over a raised crack in the sidewalk.  The coffee spills a bit.  I raise the cup to save it, stumbling as I try to catch my balance on my weak and very shaky leg.  Coffee saved.  I did not fall.  Onward!

I am getting there.  I nod to the guy outside his house taking a cigarette break, saying “Good morning,” as I pass slowly by him.  By now I am limping quite a bit.  Up the street, I turn the corner and have made it to my destination.  I get to sit while we wait for everyone to arrive.  By the time we leave, I am fully recovered.

I was sore and tired for the next four days.



  1. Peggy Parr said,

    March 29, 2010 at 10:30 am

    Dear Sweet Annita~I know that sympathy is not at all what you want or need, but I do know that support is most important in our lives whether we are dealing with illness, marriage, family, or just our daily routines. I would just like for you to know that I would be more than thrilled to help you in anyway that I possibly can. As children of God, being there for each other and serving in anyway is what he wants from us. So…if you should need me in anyway, please don’t hesitate asking. (269) 489-5105 is my home phone #. You and your family have been in my prayers for a long time now and I will gladly continue to pray for you and yours. Love Always, Peggy Parr

    • annitajohnson said,

      March 30, 2010 at 8:18 am

      Peggy – thanks. It is so good to know that you are there for me. I am blessed by the connection that we have. This is not meant to be a big downer… I just want to track my progress. When I was diagnosed years ago, it was scary, but I am so over that. I see it all as a challenge, and as something to trust God in. I’d take a big hug next time I see you, though! Love you!

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